Tuesday, February 1, 2011

You're welcome...

Manole friends in a manole lawn.

So I have been working too much lately and I have realized it's not so much that funny things don't happen to me....but I can't tell you about them. Stupid HIPPA. I think this blog could take off if I was allowed to tell you things that happened at work. I laugh out loud all the time. 

So since I have nothing  to write about.. I am going to let you in on a little part of my life. I am going to give you a new word. This word is very special to me... and hopefully it will be to you. It takes a little while to learn... but once you have it...you have it forever.

My friend/love/soul sister/old college roommate/Cassady introduced me to this word. It was a word that her grandpa used. The word is Manole (rhymes with patrol) We don't know how to spell it. She imagined an H in there somewhere I believe. The definition is difficult... but don't worry, you will catch on when I give you examples. 

Manole is a feeling you get when you encounter something so average and boring that you get a little bit depressed. It is when something has lost all excitement or specialness. You know you have felt manole when you feel a little bit empty inside and you dont know why. This can happen when encountering a person, place or thing. A thing itself can be manole or can make you feel manole. You will know that you are in a manole conversation when you want to frown and walk away and can't figure out why.
Note: It is not something that is blatantly depressing. Examples to follow.

I called up my sister and had a discussion about all things manole. I passed the word on to her years ago and the rest of my family. She passed it on to her friends. I often get texts from people who are just learning how to use manole asking if something is manole. I feel so proud of them when they get it. My sister has become a manole expert.

Here are some things that are manole or make you feel manole:

-When someone talks about their blog and forces you to read it and you don't find it interesting or funny and then they ask you about it. (I will never ask you if you read this, just in case you feel the need to lie to me)
-Highlights magazine- the worst magazine for children ever created design to bore kids to death before their doc appt.
-The stuffed animals that you win from the claw machine that take like 26 dollars worth of quarters to win and are too cheap to have cotton and instead have tiny styrofoam balls inside.
-Precious moments figurines
-Anything from the Oriental Trading Catalog 
-The VHS pile at every garage sale
-The rotating hot dogs at gas stations... because you know people buy them
-All hotel art
-Any kind of fake flowers, especially if they have fake water
-Obscure stains on waiting room chairs
-When someone gets a bad tattoo and shows you and you have no option but to feign excitment
-Faded black jeans
-Stained lace
-Sun faded christmas lawn ornaments
-Lawn ornaments of any sort actually
-The 2 minute convo you have to have when you run in to someone you went to school with who you haven't talked to for 10 years, and you obviously haven't kept in touch with
-Spending money on toilet paper
-1 ply toilet paper
-Toilet paper with decorations
-Pleather (double the manole if it is colored)
-Puff paint
-Velcro shoes on people who aren't wearing them ironically
-All local commercials ever made
-Those cone air fresheners that shrivel up and dry
-Any kind of casserole
-Kirkland brand anything (listen... I'm not a snob... I'll buy it.. I just feel manole about it ok?)
-PT cruiser rental cars in burgandy
-The cart at the malls that sell cell phone covers, hair straighteners or heinous belly button rings
-The mall in general 
-Anything wicker that is chipping and white
-David Spade and that guy that played the parrot in aladdin whose name I can't even remember (but not MC Hammer... which we debated.. because that is more depressing than manole)
-Adult sized colored water shoes
-All in one shampoo/conditioner
-So many things on valentines day including cheap waxy hollow hearts, 1 rose wrapped in plastic with babies breath, dyed carnations, pre-written poems to your wife, almost everything
-Hot Topic
-How Drake got famous on that weird canadian show
-Wing specials (My sister and I debated this bc I like them... but her argument was "come on, you eat like 10 modified bird arms in 6 minutes"... so she won that one)
-Comedians that use a dummy
-Pre-popped popcorn in a tin as a gift (although delicious)
-The Macarena
- Lean Pockets

There are so many more. This is just a wide variety of the use. If you want to know if you have one...please ask. Spread the word. Spread the wealth. It comes in handy all the time. 

P.S. just talking about so many manole things made me feel weird...