Thursday, December 13, 2012

How I paid 68 dollars to NOT watch Charlie St. Cloud...and other nonsense

So... lost you all for a while.. but this is about to come back in full force. Because I moved to New York. And because everyday life is far too absurd to not talk about here. I would have way more to talk about if it weren't for HIPPA violations... as I am working in downtown brooklyn at a rehab... but that's neither here nor there...

Recent drivel:

1) Sitting next to me while I was getting coffee at my local coffee place... were two girl clowns. In clown garb. Talking crap about another girl clown. This other clown apparently was trying to steal all of the attention at some kind of function. I kid you not. I'm sorry lady are BOTH wearing full clown outfits in a coffee shop. Pleaseeee do not talk about someone trying to steal attention? Honk honk.

2) I am very nervous about accidentally pushing someone on to the subway tracks. Not because I AM the subway pusher. But because I really have to control myself not to be. Because it's soooo easy. It's like how you feel when you stand on the edge of the grand canyon... like you wanna jump. Not because you wanna die. But because you aren't supposed to jump. Or how when someone is standing next to a pool you want to push someone in.  Except this is the subway. And then you will be the subway pusher. And have to go to jail. So I stand far away from the tracks... because it's not the same as pushing someone in the pool. Cause then you are psychopath.

3) I think I am watching too much House. Every time I cough I expect blood to come out. Or out of my ears when I get a headache. It happens all the time on House. Like... at least once an episode. I guess not in real life though.

4) I have recently realized that I have paid about 68 dollars to NOT watch Charlie St. Cloud (from here on said movie shall be referred to as CSC). Here is the math. I accidentally got CSC because it skipped something on my netflix queue that wasn't available. I had planned to delete Netflix bc I wasn't watching shows aymore. Then CSC came to my house so I couldn't cancel ... but I thought... well... I have it... I should watch it then cancel Netflix. Then I had it for a month. Then I thought... ok now you really have to watch it because you have had this movie for a month... and I never wanted to. Then I started getting hostile about it and resenting said CSC movie. After 3 months of feeling guilty about CSC. I moved houses and decided to cancel my Netflix subscription... give up... and finally return CSC. Upon which I could not find CSC. Then I had to BUY Charlie St. Cloud for TWENTY DOLLARS. Now I own/don't own Charlie St. Cloud.... for about 70 dollars

3x 16$ - 48
1x 20$ - 20

5) Recently my parents revealed to me that I had a toy skeleton when I was little. Said skeleton was named Boney-Niner (something to do with the 49ers... I dunno I was a weird kid). I then clearly shortened the nickname to "boner" as any child would and they LET ME as they could not explain to me why this was inappropriate. This I find to be one of the more humiliating things I have ever done. I remember that little skeleton friend. Poor skeleton. Poor child me.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

some gems in picture form

Discovered this little gem at work. 
A client had given this old school aviator pilot a sweet stache. 

 Caption should read "Former New Jersey governor goes undercover as one of the 7 dwarves". 
Is this guy serious. Could he look any more like Sleepy?

 Yes, very much the same.

A terrible day to be a woman. Or a man maybe? This was one day on the local news page.
-Woman behind bars after allegedly burglarizing vehicles
-Two women sentenced for deadly shooting in May
-Two women indicted in Isla Vista homicide
-Paso Robles Woman sentenced for forging signatures
-Update:Woman who was killed crossing the street identified
-Homeless woman strangled. 

The most depressing trending topics. 
Stacey Dash, Rachel Weisz, Jack Osbourne, Elton John, Bankruptcy, Kenan Thompson, Ice Cream Sandwiches, Unemployment, Cataloupe deaths and Fish oil. 
Step up your game people. 

 Seems they may have highlighted the less important part.

A fantastic pose. Nothing more to be said.


I threw away my coffee trash. 
But then I thrashed the crap out of it.