Thursday, December 13, 2012

How I paid 68 dollars to NOT watch Charlie St. Cloud...and other nonsense

So... lost you all for a while.. but this is about to come back in full force. Because I moved to New York. And because everyday life is far too absurd to not talk about here. I would have way more to talk about if it weren't for HIPPA violations... as I am working in downtown brooklyn at a rehab... but that's neither here nor there...

Recent drivel:

1) Sitting next to me while I was getting coffee at my local coffee place... were two girl clowns. In clown garb. Talking crap about another girl clown. This other clown apparently was trying to steal all of the attention at some kind of function. I kid you not. I'm sorry lady are BOTH wearing full clown outfits in a coffee shop. Pleaseeee do not talk about someone trying to steal attention? Honk honk.

2) I am very nervous about accidentally pushing someone on to the subway tracks. Not because I AM the subway pusher. But because I really have to control myself not to be. Because it's soooo easy. It's like how you feel when you stand on the edge of the grand canyon... like you wanna jump. Not because you wanna die. But because you aren't supposed to jump. Or how when someone is standing next to a pool you want to push someone in.  Except this is the subway. And then you will be the subway pusher. And have to go to jail. So I stand far away from the tracks... because it's not the same as pushing someone in the pool. Cause then you are psychopath.

3) I think I am watching too much House. Every time I cough I expect blood to come out. Or out of my ears when I get a headache. It happens all the time on House. Like... at least once an episode. I guess not in real life though.

4) I have recently realized that I have paid about 68 dollars to NOT watch Charlie St. Cloud (from here on said movie shall be referred to as CSC). Here is the math. I accidentally got CSC because it skipped something on my netflix queue that wasn't available. I had planned to delete Netflix bc I wasn't watching shows aymore. Then CSC came to my house so I couldn't cancel ... but I thought... well... I have it... I should watch it then cancel Netflix. Then I had it for a month. Then I thought... ok now you really have to watch it because you have had this movie for a month... and I never wanted to. Then I started getting hostile about it and resenting said CSC movie. After 3 months of feeling guilty about CSC. I moved houses and decided to cancel my Netflix subscription... give up... and finally return CSC. Upon which I could not find CSC. Then I had to BUY Charlie St. Cloud for TWENTY DOLLARS. Now I own/don't own Charlie St. Cloud.... for about 70 dollars

3x 16$ - 48
1x 20$ - 20

5) Recently my parents revealed to me that I had a toy skeleton when I was little. Said skeleton was named Boney-Niner (something to do with the 49ers... I dunno I was a weird kid). I then clearly shortened the nickname to "boner" as any child would and they LET ME as they could not explain to me why this was inappropriate. This I find to be one of the more humiliating things I have ever done. I remember that little skeleton friend. Poor skeleton. Poor child me.


  1. Cec!! I DIE when I think of you at your job, mostly because I have had rotations at what I am sure is a similar place in San Francisco and there is constant hilarity at all times. Please keep blogging so I have something to do during class :) and so I can keep up with your life thats more exciting than mine. Love you! Paige

  2. You kill me. I am obsessed with you blogging again. More, please. Miss yous...

  3. my husband thinks i am crazy with how hard I laughed over "boner" i felt like I was a 13 year old boy laughing that hard.

  4. I had a giant stuffed animal puppet thing that was orange, and I used to name things akin to their color. I named him Orgy. The morning before I brought him into my second grade show-and-tell, my mom told me that "Orgy" basically meant the same thing as Nazis so I had to change it immediately.