Cece....please dont break the slide!

A colorful collection. Fun ceiling of a bar in NY.

So... I work with little kiddos who have autism. They are some of the most hilarious people I know. Generally this is because they have about zero filter. Some get a little confused.  Today I was playing with one of my kids at his recess and he casually reminded me, "Cece... please do not go down the slide with us. You are much much too big. We all would still like to use it for recess." Thanks. Yes. I was going to the break the giant playground slide with my enormous bod. It inspired me so share a few of my favorite convos over the last couple years.

1) Boy, Age 5.  We are setting up to play candyland

Me: Ok. So which one are you going to be? (pointing to the little candyland men)

Kid: I want to be the gay one.

Me: Oh.. uhh. the green one you mean?

Kid: No CECE! The GAYYYY one.

Me: Um. What does that mean?

Kid: BOY! GOSHHHHH.

Me: Oh. Ummm. You should probably just say boy instead of gay. 

2) Boy, Age 4. I had just walked in to his house

Me: Hey!!!!

Kid: Hey Cece. You look sexy today.

Me: What??

Kid: I like your sweater. You look sexy today.

Me: OH. What does that mean to you?

Kid: You dont know? Sexy means like....precious and beautiful

Me: Oh well thank you. Cute would be a much better word to use from now on.

3) Boy, Age 5. He had just gotten really mad at me.

Kid: Cece... You are JUST SUCH AN IDIOT sometimes (he says while shaking his head in disgust)

Me: Ok. I am sorry you feel that way. You can not say those things though. I would like you to apologize to me and tell me what you did wrong.

Kid: I am really sorry I had to tell you that you were being a real idiot.

4) Boy, Age 4. We were playing dress up at school. He gave me the princess crown to put on and he put on the knight outfit.

Kid: Ok princess. You stay here in the tower.

Me: Alright. Then what?

Kid: Well, you know, then the bad guys are going to come break in and steal you away from the tower.

Me: OH well good thing I have my own knight! Are you going to protect me?

Kid: Ummmm (looks at his kid watch).. no its 8. I have to go to work. Maybe when I get home.

Pretty much everyday is ridiculous. I laugh a lot.