Monday, November 15, 2010

Storm Silver Metallic

An extremely hilarious ad attempting to make the fit look cool. It's not. But still love the little guy.

First off, I want to begin by saying I drive a Honda Fit....color: Storm Silver Metallic. This is slightly embarrassing. It is shaped like a nose. Or a baby mini-van. My dad decided he was going to buy me a car... which was nice. BUT he gave me 3 options. A fit. A scion (toaster style) and a yaris. Clearly the three weirdest cars he could find. I chose the lesser of the three evils. He then told me he was going to get me one in the burnt orange color. Dodged a bullet. The lord blessed me with a silver one showing up on the lot the same day. I laughed out loud the first time I test drove it. The fit is growing on me though. We have laughs together. Some laughs/thoughts about cars:

1) I was leaving a parking lot the other day and pulled behind a line of cars. It took me about a full minute of waiting for the cars to pull out before I realized I was waiting behind cars... that were parked. I felt embarrassed and laughed a lot. I looked around to see if anyone saw. I never know what do with stuff like that. It's like when you fall and you don't know if anyone sees whether to pretend it didn't happen... or flag someone random down yelling "did you see that??"... because it's more embarrassing if you get caught playing it off. 

2) I'm super uncool when it comes to my car and someone telling me to roll down my window. I always without fail hit the window button to roll down the window behind me. EVERY time. Not smooth cece... not smooth at all. Also... now that were on it. The universal signal to roll down your window... is crank style. Power windows anyone? I think that we should start transitioning in to 21st century people. I don't know what the universal symbol should be though. The index finger and the point down (signifying how you really unroll windows) could be misconstrued very easily. You don't wanna pull up to a car and ask for directions and accidentally have them thinking you are pointing to your crotch or something. Things could get weird.

3) What is it about when you see someone driving the same exact car as you? You feel like you have to acknowledge them. It's like a rule though if its the same color. Why is this? It's like your in a club together. My club is kind dorky (sorry Ryan...). I found myself pulled up at a light next to a storm silver metallic fit..... and we looked at each other... and I did (I'm embarrassed to even say) ... A HEAD NOD. What!??! Like.... a "whats up". Look how cool we are.... in our fits...then I remembered... we were in fits. I have never head nodded someone in my life. And I did it about my fit. Then I had to sit at the light in embarrassment of what I had just done. 

4) Exactly 3 people have hit and run my car while I had been in it. The last time it happened it was an old lady. Then she yelled AT ME to move. What!?!? Excuse me lady. You just HIT MY CAR. Oh well. 

5) Occasionally at the gas station I'll accidentally hit the more expensive gas button instead of the unleaded one and I will get really mad at myself? WHY? Because I just spent 43 extra cents? AH! 43 cents. Now my kids can never got to college and my car might run a little better! Also... I don't like when people casually talk to me at the gas station. I mean its nice and all... but I have a 10 gallon tank. It doesn't take long to fill up. Were not gonna delve in to deep stuff here. And I'll never see you again. The other day a man lectured me about the uneven wear of my tires. In this 39 seconds it takes to fill up my car he made me feel like turning the nozzle on myself and then lighting a match. "You need to get these fixed. Don't you have a boyfriend to do this for you?"... umm actually no.. we uhhh.. ya.."Well..Where's your dad?" ...uhh actually my parents just moved to Hawaii. "Well who watches out for you little lady?"... ummm... Ian... at Ian's tires on Hollister. Thanks guy.

6) I duck when I go in to parking garages. WHY? ALWAYS. The parking garage would have to be like 4 feet high in order for me to scrape the top of my car and head off on the way in. AND I CAN NEVER manage to pull up to get parking tickets out of the little meter thing at parking garages. It's really anxiety  inducing. The struggle of me vs. seat belt vs. distance away from meter vs. timed pressure from vehicles behind you vs. embarrassment of having the open the door and get out and get it ...leaves me needing to pop a xanax from all the stress. Generally it looks like seat belt choking me while trying to extend my arm go-go-gadget style out the window and barely grasping the ticket with my finger tips. Then I lose it anyway.

7) If you have 100 bumper stickers on the back of your car about the NRA, or hating Obama, or trying to save the world.... whatever to you. I can not pay attention to anything you are saying. Pick a cause. And ONE bumper sticker. Maybe two max. Preferably none. If you have something to say you are probably not gonna change the world by bumper sticker alone. You may just further people who don't agree with you to have more road rage. Also ..Honk if you love Jesus. God is my co-pilot. Jesus would have used his turn signal. Got Jesus?Its Hell without him. Jesus loves the hell out of you. The religious ones are the worst. I love Jesus with the best of em.. but for the love... any bumper sticker with the mention of hell... probably extremely offensive and a no go. Nobody is converting because of an offensive uppity bumper sticker. People WILL be more annoyed at Christians though...

8) Please don't get those license plate covers that say "Daddy bought it, I got it". I will have a hard time with you. The other day I saw a guy who was driving like a camry or something with a license plate cover that said "My other car is a Taurus". Hahah. He totally missed the joke. Ummm.... guy you are supposed to pick a really cool car.... not ACTUALLY say what your other car is. Not that the Taurus is the definition of uncool. No worries. I drive a Fit. 


Honk if you love the fit.




4 comments:

  1. Honk. I almost bought a fit...voluntarily. I was sucked in by their ad that showed a surfboard in the car. Big surfing scene in Portland? No. But I pretended the surfboard was a bike. I think they had quite the selection of burnt orange Fits in stock. Your dad would have been in heaven.

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  2. this makes me think of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CECILIA!!!"
    why why why??

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  3. you always make me laugh! I have a toyota echo--- and like a fit--- i do have friends in the "echo" club. But now I am a mom with 2 kids in the back

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  4. I stopped reading after point number 4...only because I couldn't stop laughing at the image of you being hit and run...ran...run on...how do you say this in the correct tense? Frig!

    This blog of yours is making me late to things...because I have to read it...and then have to take time to stop myself from laughing. I am a venter and the only way I can compose myself is to tell someone what I am laughing about within your blog. But I usually read it when I'm alone so I retell what I just read to myself...out loud.

    Diagnose me!

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